Blessed by a Brother

It's official. We are now a family of FOUR! Six, if you count the dogs. Just six years, and sixteen days after Koko Bean graced us with her presence, Baby V came into our world.

His birth was completely different than Koko Bean's Birth. While last time I was clueless, I totally knew what to expect this time. Ha! Yeah right! Koko Bean was an easy pregnancy. Baby V was not. I wasn't sick this time, but just sort of felt "icky" at night and we had a few scares with torn placenta and a cyst that sent me to the ER. Koko Bean was vertex by thirty weeks. After 30 weeks, we tried to get a 3D ultrasound with Baby V, thinking he'd be ready for his closeup. Nah. He was still breech and had his head buried in his own little womb pillow, otherwise known as placenta. After I tried everything short of hanging upside down to get him to turn, we tried the 3D ultrasound a couple weeks later. He did not budge. He did manage to open his eyes and glare at us for a second. 

From stinky oils to unorthodox exercises, I tried everything to get this kid to flip. At 37 weeks, on New Year's Eve, push came to shove and we had to make a decision to try an external cephalic version. This natural, "crunchy" mama was not thrilled about getting an epidural, nor was I confident the version would be good for my baby. After hours and hours of research, I had to trust my doctor and go for it. Thankfully, Dr. O was able to wrestle sweet Baby V enough to get his little body bottoms up and we we all celebrated. I thought for sure, this was going to induce labor in the next couple days. 

NOPE!! 

Baby V was not convinced the outside world was ready for him yet. Maybe he was waiting for a special date? I mean, after all, practically my whole family was all born in January. My dad was born on the second, my mother-in-law was the fifth, Sissy Koko Bean is the sixth, and that's just the first week!! My due date was January 16th, (my great aunt's birthday.) My last day of work was January 15th. 

January 16th came. January 16th went. So did the 17th, 18th and 19th. I was adamant about not being induced and I was going to go without an epidural like I had done with Koko Bean. However, on January 19th, my doctor and I came to the realization baby V was going to have to be politely evicted from his comfortable sanctuary, and we scheduled an induction for January 22nd. January 22nd was the day before Baby V's great grandfather's 90th birthday. January 22nd is also that wonderful man's mother's birthday. Baby V was born on the same day as the matriarch of my dad's family. I could not have thought of a more special day. 

Getting induced seemed like a horrible ordeal in my eyes. I had heard about labor pains coming faster and stronger and all these terrible stories about how it didn't work. To say I was anxious, was an understatement. Thankfully, I was at a hospital with an incredibly competent staff. I did not experience anything, but harder and faster labor pains, so I opted for the epidural. I really didn't want my baby drugged, but I also didn't want to put him through stress. To be quite frank, I was over being pregnant and didn't want to prolong this process any longer. I even got to take a nap. That's when the cool stuff happened. 

I fell asleep around 1pm, knowing I was dilated to 3cm. At around 3pm or so, I woke up to a warm hand on my shoulder, and a feeling of someone standing over me. I looked up to where I thought someone was standing. No one was there. I asked my husband if he or a nurse had stood there. He said no one had. My mom was sleeping in a chair next to me and woke up, hearing me talk about this. At that moment, we both started crying. We knew who was there. My daddy had come to tell me it was time. I had the nurse check me and I had dilated to 6cm. Everything happened very fast after that. Even though I know he held him before God placed him in my womb, I can only imagine the joy on his face when his grandson was born just an hour and a half later. 

This little boy was sent as a special gift to remind me of God's love. On Sunday, Baby V will be blessed by our church. This will be almost exactly a year after we found out we were expecting him. Though it took me a while to share this story, I just couldn't seem to find the words. We are incredibly blessed by our newest little Gift. Now, I get to be a mommy to beautiful daughter and a handsome son. I can't wait to watch these two grow up together. 

Luke 1:46-48

46 And Mary said: "My soul glorifies the Lord 

47 and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, 

48 for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed,

Mommy will be okay.

This blog was originally intended for us to chronicle Koko Bean's life and her adventures. Unfortunately, some adventures and events have gone undocumented. At first, I felt like I failed at yet another "perfect mom" task. However, Koko Bean, understands we are extremely busy working parents and the time we do get with her, we live it.

Speaking of living life, as much as I don't want Koko Bean to see me like this, it's been quite the struggle to actually live life myself. I have debated writing about this, because I didn't want her to look back and see that Mom was sad. You can't really hide from her though. She knows.

It's been eight months, and three days since my dad left his earthly life to spend Eternal life in Heaven. While I try to rejoice that he no longer suffers from the excruciating pain he endured, I think of how unfair it is we were left here to mourn. He was always the one to push me to be better, to succeed, and to defeat adversity. My dad would text me every day with jokes, mostly about politics and sports. He taught me to love Jesus, my family and sports. He didn't just tell me to work hard, he showed me how.

Now, that mentor is gone. I feel I have no connection to that man, except to look at pictures and hope he hears me when I talk out loud to him. Sometimes, he visits me in my dreams. He doesn't speak. He just sits there, and watches my children (Baby V is already born in many of my dreams with Dad.) I yearn to hear his voice, and especially his gut-busting laugh. I miss his sarcastic smirk, and his extremely dry sense of humor.

As we approach the holiday season, I sit here and think about what Dad loved about the holidays. He loved his family. He loved us so much, he worked from 3am to God knows when, to make our holidays special. On the eve of Thanksgiving and on Christmas Eve, I would meet him at his biggest stop, and help him stock the shelves with chips, so that he would be able to come home a little bit earlier. That man moved fast. Keeping up with him was a task in itself. After stocking the shelves, my dad didn't just leave though. He stopped and talked with the employees of that store, and other passersby whom he knew. He was always interested in those people's lives, their children, etc.

I've always been more like my dad, in personality and in work ethic. No matter how much Dad hurt, he still loved to work. These days, I'm finding it harder and harder to enjoy anything about life and work. I am angered easily. I don't care for small talk. In fact, it makes me more anxious. Forget about talking on the phone, and face to face conversation is even worse.

Everyone says, grieving takes time, and that you never fully get over the pain. Well, this sucks. When I feel like this, I also feel guilty. There are many other people suffering far more than I. I feel selfish and it's unfair for my family to have an unhappy me. I have many blessings in my life. I have a beautiful daughter who is extremely smart, I have a husband who puts up with my crazy self, I have a mother who gives more of herself than anyone I know, and a brother who is extremely successful, despite everything he's been through. Most of all, I have a loving God who knows my pain and a Savior who died to save me from my sins.

I hope Koko Bean and Baby V never have to go through this themselves, but it is inevitable. When they do, I hope they see it's normal to grieve. I hope they understand it's not the end, but a beginning to a new chapter in the book of life. I hope they know they have a loving God who will comfort them in those times of sadness.

An Interview with a Kindergartener

Today was day three of Kindergarten for Koko Bean. I have pried and probed, trying to figure out what she does all day. All I get in response to my interrogation is, "I forgot." Really? How do you forget such a wonderful adventure as Kindergarten?? If I could just be a fly on the wall, and see how she interacts with her classmates, (whose names she can't remember, ) and to see what all she's learning, I would be content. Alas, all I get is information about a curly haired girl on the playground and some friend she sits with on the bus, whom she thinks is named "Areola" or is it "Ariella," (God I hope it's the latter.) 

I found some fun questions to ask her about her newest quest for learning. I was hoping this might help me better understand what has been going on in her brilliant little mind.  Here are the results of the interview:

*My grade this year is: Kindergarten 

*I am most excited about: Going outside twice or 3 times. (I didn't realize Kindergarten was like Fort Knox.)

*When I grow up, I want to be: A dog watcher (then she added because I just LOVE dogs.)

*My best friend is: The girl with the curly hair. 

*My favorite book is: I can do it myself.

*My favorite color is: Pink (I really didn't need to ask this.)

*My favorite game is: Frozen (She loves to role play which is the reason she wants a sister. "You can't play Frozen with a brother.")

*My favorite thing to eat for lunch is: Tortillas and cheese. "Mom, after I answer all these questions, may I have another Reese's cup?

*My favorite thing about school is: Going outside. (Hmmm, I'm beginning to see a theme here.)

*The best thing that happened today is: We got to go outside twice. (Yeah, I'm pretty sure her favorite subject is recess. Great.)

Today was her first day of bringing home homework too. We had fun playing the math game she brought home and we will be reading for five minutes every night (something we did anyway.)  She also has homework every night this week in addition to the reading. I think this year will be a challenge for me as well as for her. Here's hoping for a great year and a good foundation for the rest of her years in education. 

Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.- Nelson Mandela

Pressing on

Kindergartener.

Big Sister.

You can add these two new titles to Koko Bean's resume.

On May 13, 2014, the day after Daddy and Mommy's wedding anniversary, we found out we were expecting another baby. While we had planned it, and even had gone to the doctor, making necessary changes (i.e., removing the IUD,) it was a big surprise it happened that soon. Doc said it would take about two months. Try three weeks! After a few early scares, including an ambulance ride to the ER for Mommy, we are happy to announce baby brother or sister is due January 16, 2015, just ten days after Koko Bean's SIXTH birthday.

Many things have happened to our little family this year, so bringing a new life into our world is more than a blessing. After losing my dad, Koko Bean's Grandpa Dave in March, just four months later, we lost another great hero in our family- my grandpa Don. Grandpa Don was more than just a step dad to my mom. Grandpa Don was a knight in shining armor to my grandmother and a constant rock in our family for over thirty years. I was honored to give a eulogy for him at his memorial service. The theme was three little words- "He showed up." There is nothing more I can say about that man that would express how we all felt about him.

With all of life's events, we have yet to establish a routine, which is driving Mommy nuts. Work schedules haven't been consistent, workout schedules are virtually non-existent and now we add school to the mix again this month. While Koko Bean has been going to daycare since she was seven weeks old, and preschool for the last two years, this year hit me like a ton of bricks. Baby girl is going to KINDERGARTEN!

I mean, I used to see all the posts from Mommies and Daddies on the first day of school. "Junior is growing up too fast. Where has the time gone?" "Susie can't be ready for Kindergarten." While I loved seeing the adorable kids all dressed up for their first day of school, I'll admit I used to roll my eyes and keep scrolling, like "yeah kids do that. They grow up." It's kind of like getting in a car accident. You don't think it will ever happen to you. You're just driving around with your cruise control on in life, raising this beautiful little creation you helped make. Then crash! This really happens! We officially have a Kindergartener.

I have many thoughts running through my head about her education. What will be her favorite subject? Will she be a leader or sit back and watch? Will she be bullied? She better not be bullied. She better not bully someone else. Please pay attention. Please eat your lunch. I know my kid, but I also know how change affects us all. I am really hoping she enjoys school as much as I did, or more.

Needless to say, we've been on an emotional roller coaster this year. We (mostly Mommy,) are still trying to cope with all these things. There are good days and there are not so good days. We press on though, knowing that our almighty God has promised great things for us. I know He has big things in store for Koko Bean this year.

Proverbs 4:13  Take fast hold of instruction; let [her] not go: keep her; for she [is] thy life.

In Loving Memory on Father's Day

I haven't updated Koko Bean's blog in a long time, but I felt like today, was necessary. Today is Father's Day. Today, we celebrate not only Koko Bean's daddy, but her wonderful grandfathers who raised her parents. Papa Kenny, her daddy's daddy, went to be with our Lord when her daddy was only sixteen. I never had a chance to meet Mr. Kenneth Morrison, but I am truly grateful for him. He adopted my husband, Koko Bean's daddy. He raised him to be a great father and husband. He raised him to respect himself, and to respect others, and to fight for everything, never giving up on anything. I don't have a picture of him to put on here. Otherwise I would have.

This year on March 7, Koko Bean's other grandfather, my daddy, went Home. It was a day before his 34th wedding anniversary. Grandpa Dave was an amazing, hard-working, and compassionate man. It's amazing how we never knew he would meet people on the street, witness to them, and open his heart and his wallet. We know these things now, as people have been approaching my mother, telling her how generous my dad was. In order to represent him the best way I know how, I have copied and pasted what I wrote, and presented at his celebration of life.

This room of people represents my dad. My dad loved people, especially all of you. We are grateful for your presence here today and also for your presence in his life. He cared deeply for each and every one of you.

Every person in this room has a story to tell about my dad. I have really enjoyed reminiscing with you all on the antics that were Dave Kersey. His sense of humor and wit kept us all on our toes. Sometimes you knew he was joking and sometimes, he would say it so well, and with such great delivery, you weren’t sure. Then you would see his lips pucker from trying not to laugh himself. I’m pretty sure you could write a book on Dave Kerseyisms.

Dad shared not only his dry wit, but his love for sports with my brother and me. When he was a young boy, his uncle Jim used to take him to St. Louis Cardnials’ games. Dad had his favorite teams in baseball, basketball, and football. However, Dad was such a bandwagon fan, it wasn’t even funny. If you were to look at his closet, you would never know which team was his favorite. He always said he wouldn’t want to work for a company that didn’t make any money, so why root for a team that didn’t win. Despite that motto, he still loved his Chiefs. My aunt reminded me of how he’d call her in Kansas City, on a day the chiefs were playing out of town, tell her he was sitting in the parking lot. He said he got a great deal on the tickets. And then ask where everyone was. He even had a ceremonial burning of the chiefs’ schedule after they suffered yet another disappointing season.

Speaking of sports, Dad taught me a lot about playing them myself. He taught me how to swing a bat, how to kick a ball and how to dodge whatever he kicked or threw at me. Let’s just say, mom had to keep the band-aids handy. This also applied to sledding and riding a bike.

Even though activities with Dad usually ended in bruises, tears and sometimes blood, I still couldn’t wait to spend time with him. He would come home from his long day on the route, cook an awesome meal for our family, and he would still make time to coach us in sports. He was full of life and full of energy.  In everything he did, he proudly gave everything he had.

I never thought I’d be doing this this early, but it is apparent God needed him sooner than we intended. And while it’s not fair, and there are times when I can’t understand, or my brother can’t understand or my mother, and grandfather can’t understand; we must believe God said, “David, you did it. Your job here is done. Come home son.”  He never wanted us to cry when he left us. He always said to celebrate.

So Dad, that’s just what we’re going to do. We’re going to celebrate your life and remember all the good times we had. We will no longer worry about your pain. We will no longer worry about doctors and hospitals. As the song goes, those places and those faces were getting old. Don’t worry. Every time we fire up a grill, every time we hear Frank Zappa, Weird Al or a really bad Sean Connery impression, we’ll smile, and pretend to appreciate it as much as you did. Your amazing spirit and your Faith will live on through your children.  We couldn’t have asked for a better dad. And as for Mom- the biggest blessing you gave us, was falling in love with her. When she cries, we’ll help dry her tears and when she laughs, we’ll laugh with her. As you are living out your eternal life in Heaven now, I must remind you of the one rule you enforced upon us- NO HAVING FUN!!!  Just kidding.

Proverbs 20:7   The righteous who walks in his integrity—blessed are his children after him!

This couldn’t be more true. Thank you Dad. We love you.

 In loving memory of Kenneth Morrison and David Kersey. Happy Father's Day.

Time for some Koko bean

It's been a while since I have blogged about Koko bean and her adventures and I might not have time to blog as much as I would like but I need a place to record certain conversations and interactions with Koko bean. Facebook and twitter are probably Koko beaned out by now, but this little girl is full of surprises and I can't help but share.
For instance, she talks about time like she actually knows how much time is in one minute, one hour, one day, or even a year. I just asked her to come up stairs and read with me and her reply was, "can you just give me one minute?" Sure Koko bean. I did not mean to pry you away from Team Umi Zumi too soon. That was five minutes ago. I am blogging. She's still watching her giant tube downstairs.
The other night, she reminded me that last year, she took a bath. I just hope she doesn't go shouting that to all her friends at the gym or at daycare. They might be leary of her presence, specifically her odor.
Well, I'm not exactly sure where the time does go. I remember changing her diapers, nursing her to sleep, and onsies!! I remember the the days of onsies like it was yesterday, but it wasn't yesterday, nor even last year!! One day, she'll understand what time means, when she has a little bean herself. I, however, am going to cling to this time right now, like there is no tomorrow.

Let's Go Fly a Kite

One of my favorite movies is Mary Poppins, and one of my favorite songs on that soundtrack is, "Let's Go Fly a Kite." And that's what we did today. Well, that's what we attempted to do today.
Unfortunately, our Kansas wind wasn't blowing like it normally does, so our kite never really took flight unless we ran with it continuously. Neither Mommy nor Daddy are especially in cardiovascular shape, so let's just say it was quite the task.

Daddy picked out this hideous kite by the way.

Koko Bean had a blast regardless of her kite flying. She had fun running after Daddy.

Daddy even let her have a shot at it.

I enjoyed watching my little girl and her daddy play. I also enjoyed taking advantage of the photo opportunities with my new camera.

How can you resist that little button nose, those tiny sweetheart lips, those beautiful blue eyes and her baby fair skin? I am glad to have these photos to remember my first born like this. A little lump forms in my throat to think we are signing her up for preschool this week!! I have no doubts she'll succeed, but I feel like I was just pregnant yesterday! Can time slow down just a little? Pretty please?