TeMpErS fLaRe

Ah yes, we've all heard about it...THE TERRIBLE TWOs. It's hard to believe that my sweet, innocent, only-cried-when-needing-nursed or changed, little girl, has reached this very trying stage. It's hard to believe that this face

could quickly switch to an upside down smile and a screaming fit in less than two seconds. It's happening.
Now that we've gotten through the night terror fits, and thankfully haven't had any since we took the beloved TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES SECRET OF THE OOZE movie away, our patience had been restored. Mom and Dad were feeling some breathing room and getting a little bit more sleep.

Now, Little Miss Koko Bean has always been a strong-willed little girl. Like I said before, she was holding her head up the minute she was born, ready to conquer the world. Recently, she's put the icing on the cake of this little sweet fact by testing Mom at the gym and then taking on both Mom and Dad at home.

You see, Koribn has a new backpack...with a leash. I never thought I'd be that Mom with her kid on a leash and often made fun of it, but now I understand why other moms pioneered this method. Little kids don't want to hold your hand all the time. They want to explore, and "need to walk," and get drinks from water fountains they can't reach. As we left the gym the other night, Koko Bean put her hands under the foam hand sanitizer at the daycare (she always has to do this no matter what,) and clasped both hands together as if to trap in all the disinfectant she could. We put the backpack on very carefully, as she kept her hands tightly clenched. Then we walked outside the daycare to travel down the long hallway of toddler temptation in order to get to our vehicle. Mom had two bags herself. One was full of supplelments, and work clothes she changed out of and the other was a backpack with a few kid essentials. We didn't get five feet outside the daycare door when she spotted the shiny water fountain and shouted, "I need a drink!" So, I carefully lifted her up so that SHE could push the button and attempt to drink from an inconsistant stream of water. Then, thinking I could outsmart her, I grabbed her cup out of her backpack and filled it with water fountain water. That wasn't enough. She needed to get a second try. At this time, my bag overflowing and getting very heavy, I was already drained from working all day, plus with each workout being harder than the last, and feeling like my stomach was eating my back, I picked her up one more time and said it was the last. She squirted the water everywhere but in her mouth and I put her back down. Apparently this was a game now. Momma was not playing. With my heavy bag pulling the skin off my right shoulder, I did a one-arm hoist with my left arm and set her upon my hip. That was when the you-know-what hit the fan. She screamed, she kicked, she squirmed all the way down the long hallway. I had to readjust both her and the bag at least four times and it seemed like I had to walk ten miles out to the car. People gawked, some frowned at me, some at her. And then it happened. Whap! Somehow I had managed to use a free hand to swat her bum once. (A wise man once told me that when you must spank a child do so, but only once. If you do it more than once, you are just taking out your frustration on the child and that's not fair. However, it is fair to swat them once, because they need to know their behavior is unacceptable.)

We finally got to the car, while she was still fighting as hard as she could and making any excuse possible to get down and walk. She fought the buckling in process and screamed the entire way home. I caught myself using my mommy voice and said, "Do you want to tell Daddy how you acted tonight?" Oh my goodness! I just turned into my mother!! When we finally got home, she calmed down just long enough to see me get the eggs I was going to cook for my post workout meal, and thought she needed to play with them. When I told her no is when Dad walked in. Anyone want to guess what he said?? "What's wrong with Mommy? Why is Mommy so cranky?" Uh, excuse me!!??

This brings me to tantrum numero dos... este manana.

Koko Bean often likes to call us by our first names. We have no idea where she learned our names, but she did and now we are sometimes "Shannon and Sarah." Most parents would find this disrepectful to be called by their first name, but truthfully, I'm thankful she does know our names in case anything ever happens where she would need to inform someone. So, as we were getting ready to go guess where...the gym, Korbin said, "Sarah, I need to go pee pee." Wow! Really?? Yay!! I hurried and got her "GJs" off and she quickly pulled off her diaper and sat on the little pink potty we keep in the living room now for these purposes. I let her sit there for about five minutes while I made my preworkout drink and Dad finished primping to go to the gym. I quickly learned this pee pee was a false alarm and when I went to put a shirt on her to get ready for the day, she protested...BIG TIME!! Still sitting on the potty, she fought me tooth and nail to slip her little pink frilly tank top on her. Dad came in and once again, it was "what's Mommy's problem? This diet is sure making you impatient." He soon found out that he would lose his patience as she screamed at the top of her lungs trying to take off the tank top. He tried to reason with her. "Korbin, we have to get you dressed so you can go slide at the gym. Do you want to go swimming?" Everyone knows there's no reasoning with toddler. Dad finally took her off the potty and layed her down to help me put the diaper on her. She kicked me in the gut so hard, it took my breath away and I almost vomitted. (The girl is strong!!) Dad saw it and swatted her bum. That ticked her off more. We finally let her get up and sit back on the potty, even though she wasn't going to be doing any business on it but cry.

As she sat there crying, I couldn't help but feel guilty about how we're always on the go, whether we're headed to daycare, work, or the gym. This little girl has been shuttled and stressed enough. Now we're trying to rush her to potty when all she wanted to do was make us proud of her by showing that she knew how to take her own diaper off and sit on the potty, even if she wasn't going to potty at all. My stomach hurt from her kicking me and I was still mad but I gave in. "Korbin, would you please put your pants on? I have a cookie for you." I couldn't believe what I had just said.. I bribed her!!! With junk food!!! And it worked!!! She quit crying, got off her potty and then got on the floor in position for me to put a diaper on her and the rest of her clothes. As I finished dressing her, she licked the peanut butter cream from the middle of the cookie, then told me to throw away the rest. On the way to the gym, I felt relieved we got through one more tantrum...and I knew it wouldn't be the last.